note to self

Dear Self

In case a time ever comes where you cannot remember this time in your life....

you are incredibly happy. happier than you have been in such a long time. joyful even.

you love.

you have beautiful people around you. both near and far. they are what make you. they are the reason that you have made it these past years and the reason that you will always make it. they make you laugh every single day.they love you and you them. they have added to your life in ways you have never imagined.

you have a job but more than that you have a job that you love. even when it aggrevates you to no end and you feel like walking away you love it too much to do that any time soon. your coworkers are some of the best people and you have fun there.

you miss him but not like you used to-- or at least not most days. but that's ok because it's not like you ever forget him and self you will never need to be reminded about that great man because he is a part of you and who you have become.

you have a life. a wonderful life. a life with meaning. full of joy and love and even purpose. a life filled with new life- filled with babies that are the most wonderful little humans you could ever imagine.

you love. and self that is the most wonderful discovery after these years of not knowing if that would be possible again. and even better you have learned to love
yourself.

there have been 14 babies born this summer in my life. 14 friends that have such beautiful babies. there are 8 boys and 6 girls and all of them are completely healthy (auntie kyle is completely broke from spoiling them too much).

to be surrounded by new life has been so wonderful for me. it reminds me that life can be beautiful and untouched by the negative. that sometimes it is absolutely perfect.

there is such joy around me right now and i just want to make sure i look back and appreciate this moment.

ps- everything with j is amazing