thinking in new ways

in typical fashion- i am kicking myself because i spent 3 years of my life trying to make c love me and he never did.

but now i am going to think in a new way

if i had just been with john and then with j (new guy) and not had c--- i would have never appreciated what a wonderful man j is.

going from a good guy to a good guy would have never taught me anything

going from a good guy--- to a not so good guy--- to a good guy-- has taught me everything i ever needed to know--- at least for now