taking my life back

To John's Friends: The past two and a half years I have lived with my life under inspection. Every move that I have taken, every decision I have made, everything that I have done has been criticized and it stops today. Over the past month or so I have heard a few things from people that I am not necessarily close to about my life. People that are not in my daily life and in all honesty should not know any details of my life. Yet they do. Why my life is up for public discussion, criticism, or general observation I will never know. However I can control it and I will stop it. It stops today.
For the record- I am happy. I am moving forward in my life but also for the record I will never forget John nor will I ever live a day that he does not cross my mind. I know that some people think that because I am in a relationship that I will forget John, betray John, or try to convince myself that the person I am with is better than John. There is no comparison and there shouldn't be nor is forgetting John even an option.
Right now I am more hurt than words will ever begin to convey yet I am also incredibly happy. Cleo- the man in my life- is a huge part of that but there are also other factors. I am healthy, my job is stable and most days wonderful, and I do have other people in my life that are incredible and are so supportive that I can only be incredibly grateful. But to have people in my life that I can't trust or that I can't speak to for fear of them spreading the gossip or the details of my life has definitely hurt. But it is something I can control. Unfortunately it means losing some people in my life that I never wanted to lose- but if I can't trust in them then why are they there.
John chose not to introduce me or even talk about me to most people until he was sick- with one exception- because he trusted that person more than he will ever know and so do I- thank you to that one individual. However I now understand why he kept us "quiet"- the talking, the gossiping and the pain that it has brought me is unbelievable.
But I will not let it ruin what I do have in my life- instead I move forward. I move on and I move away. I have plenty of people in my life that support me 100% and do not feel like my life is of any interest to other people. They do not talk about me behind my back nor in front of my face. My life is my own. That is all I ever wanted. I wish you all the same level of happiness I have in my life and none of the hurt.
Kyle

ps.... i really did send this email.... which made me really happy