november

I really hate November
Almost as much as March

November 9 2003- A call from my brother telling me my father was in the hospital- brain tumor-" inoperable"

November 10, 2003- he was transferred to the brigham

November 11, 2003- 14 hours of sitting in the family waiting room with my brother that I barely speak to- he will make a full recovery

November 14, 2003- he has a pulmonary embolism

November 15, 2003- John asks me to marry him for the first time


then of course life changed. We planned a wedding for November 20, 2004. He died in march- no wedding- except of course to cancel with the priest the week before because he didn't get the 3 messages I had left with him prior. And then I crash John's car he had left to me into a garbage truck the wednesday before we were supposed to be married. Totaled the only thing that I had of his.

I really really hate November. And somehow every year it sneaks up on me and my emotions are all over the place and I can't figure out why until i really think about it. In a matter of a month my life changed and changed again- at the time into something that I really wanted but now just brings me a lot of pain.