c. and i had a wonderful day yesterday. so wonderful i almost let a comment slip right by without saying anything-- not the word almost. he mentioned something about getting married when i am 35. yes folks- that would be 5 years from now. 5 years. now i dont' want to get married tomorrow but i would like to be married long before then. and then i explained to him what every woman learned from watching when harry met sally-- or in my case when i watched the love of my life slip away before i got the chance.

when you know you have met the person you want to spend your life with you don't want to wait.

i waited with john- i waited for a long time. till everything was predictable-- or not predictable but expected. date 2 years get engaged- wait another year get married. or that was the plan

now i don't want the predictable or the expected. i just want to live life and figure it out. so what if the timing isn't perfect.

c. is on board to a point with this. he says he needs to straighten some stuff in his life out first. but it will definitely be sooner than 5 years. because he too wants to just live life and be happy.

until the moment comes though we just live as we have been- enjoying the precious time we get together.