so the anniversary is coming up...this year all the days match up with the days of the week which makes it a little more real to remember exactly what was happening. I am going to try to write about the events as they happened which will be the first time i have told anyone what really happened over the course of the week that changed my life forever... i need to get this out. I need to look past the pain that was and see the beauty that is left behind....

March 5, 2004

John had been given 1-3 months to live on February 17th. His father had flown out and his parents met with the Drs while john and I had sat in the infusion room. He didn't want to know the specifics of what was going to happen or what could happen. He wanted to keep fighting. He was so stubborn.
On the 1st John's dad and stepmom left for Hawaii for 2 weeks. John really didn't want him to go but Pat said nothing was going to happen while he was away and the Drs and John knew how to reach him. By the 4th John was having a hard time talking on the phone to me at all. He was at home and part of the time his mom wouldn't let him talk to me and the other part of the time he was too weak and tired to talk.
I said to John the morning of the 5th that I would be over that night. But John told me his mother was forbidding me to come over. That I would not be allowed to see him - and at this point we were both very scared that the next time I would see him he would no longer be here on this earth. I told him not to worry too much we would work something out. That was Friday.